Oír sin emitir juicio

Cuando conversamos, cuando escuchamos a alguien, solemos tener la respuesta preparada antes de que el interlocutor termine la frase. Ya sabemos lo que vamos a contestar cuando todavía está hablando. Y eso nos impide valorar sus argumentos. Es lo que se conoce como pre-juicio, o juicio previo. Sin suficiente criterio, porque no lo estamos oyendo.

Darío es psicólogo y nos está enseñando a contener nuestro juicio. Y también a permanecer en silencio. A permitir que en la conversación se produzcan silencios sin tener que rellenar los huecos. No pasa nada si estamos en silencio ante otra persona. No hay que emitir palabras continuamente. El silencio hace más reposada la relación, permite ordenar ideas, dar la palabra al otro.

Darío sabe mucho sobre cómo mejorar la relación entre el profesional y la familia. Durante tres meses va a formar a todos los profesionales de Sidi para que sepamos cómo compartir y dialogar,  y no solo hablar con los demás.

Nos está enseñando a no imponer nuestro criterio o nuestra opinión, sino a construirlo junto al criterio del otro. El cambio se produce cuando la decisión la toma uno mismo a partir de  la reflexión personal. No por imposición. Estamos aprendiendo a construir un nuevo criterio a partir de la confluencia de ideas con el otro. Por eso ahora preguntamos tanto: “¿Y tú como lo ves?, ¿Qué te parece?, ¿Qué opinas?, ¿Cómo lo harías?…”

También nos está enseñando a identificar cuando la otra parte se muestra reticente, cuando no quiere algo u opina diferente, o cuando su actitud lo aleja de una posible solución del problema. Y a respetarlo. Y a proponer y animar el cambio cuando va a producir una mejora.

Es algo que nos va a servir en nuestro trabajo, pero también en nuestra vida personal. Seguro. Ya lo notamos. Con los compañeros, con nuestra familia, con los amigos. Qué bien aprender estas cosas. Qué bien aprender. Nos enriquece.

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